


Act Two

by My Crazy Crazy Madman (Pigfarts23)



Series: A Very Sherlock Musical -the Musical [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, musical AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 01:48:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2132547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigfarts23/pseuds/My%20Crazy%20Crazy%20Madman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There exists a world where people break into song and choreography with no shame.<br/>This is Act Two of that world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act Two, Scene One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Very Sherlock Musical](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129596) by [flawedamythyst](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst). 



> Right so here we are, one Wednesday and 5 minutes after the commencement of the audience pee-break. Hopefully that had you on the edge of your seat. Will the boys catch the Professional? All will be revealed in this (rather short) scene. Next week is a bit of a monster- two big songs, PLUS we get to hear John's totally awesome ring tone.
> 
> So Act Two will take us through the Richenbach Fall (tears) and will end on a rather silent note (yes it's important I say it that way). Act Three seems as if it will be a real challenge. ANYWAYS.
> 
> Special thanks to Dexter for teaching me how to kill people. I mean for teaching me how to write about killing people... Oh you know what I mean
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Stay tuned for Cast Auditions, which will be starting up when I finish writing the scenes.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to Ariane DeVere for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE ONE

[ _Entr’acte_ ](http://musescore.com/user/262326/scores/255691)

[LIGHTS UP ON SOME SORT OF ROOM; IT’S ALL COVERED WITH PLASTIC. JOHN LIES IN THE MIDDLE, ON A TABLE. A WOMAN COMES IN FROM THE DOOR ON STAGE RIGHT; SHE IS WEARING GLOVES, CARRYING A BAG, AND HOLDING A PHONE]

Woman: Tsk tsk Doctor Watson. Posing as a teacher. And _business_ too. You’re in the system as a business teacher, so I’m going to have to kill you all businessy. .. How sad, I was really looking forward to preforming open heart surgery.

[JOHN STIRS]

Woman: No no no, sweetheart. We can’t have you stirring. That’s just not acceptable.

[SHE PACES AROUND THE ROOM, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING]

Woman [conversationally]:  It’s a shame I’m out of time to strip you. I would have had fun cutting you open as you lay helplessly on the table. Besides, you’re posing as a **_business_** teacher, not a doctor, so it’s not like I’d be able to cut you open. It’d be weird to see a business teacher cut open. Business people just don’t do that. And you’re registered in the teacher’s college as a business teacher soo... Anyways, business is worse than science, I believe. All those _dreadful_ concepts to know. Like _accounting -_ what a useless course. _Accounts Payable, Receivable, Bad Debts Estimation,_ ugh I was bored to tears in accounting. Oh and _International Business._ Just-in-Time; six marketing methods; three advertising methods. All so mind-numbingly boring. I can kill you through boredom if I so choose; all I’ll have to do is read you my lectures on business. You’ll drop dead very shortly, I guarantee.

[JOHN STARTS TO GET UP]

Woman [flirtily]: Sit up, that’s alright. Oh, by the way, as cleverly hidden as that ear piece was, I’ve removed it [she holds up something between her fingers]. But a good idea. Oh! And the bullet proof vest. I’m loving this. Your detective is _reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally_ clever. Like I was actually planning on shooting you. That’s not my style. I’m the _Professional,_ not some newbie who can’t shoot straight.

[SHE STARTS RUMMAGING AROUND HER BAG]

Woman: Now I know I have those old accounting textbooks around here somewhere…

John: Why’d you start?

Woman: Start what?

John: Killing.

Woman: OH! Keeping up my high school bargains.

John: High school?

Woman: I was a bit of a freak. Still am, really.

John: Right okay.

Woman [starting to rant]: I mean, I started this because it was to get back at my biology and physics teachers. Then I was all like “HEY, their last names start with the same day letter as the day of the week they were killed!” There was a brief flash back to English were we were always pulling apart these details that just seemed coincidental, and I really didn’t make too deep of a connection with the whole day of the week thing, I just really wanted them to suffer. Well biology, at least. But then I had _soooooooo_ much fun killing her! And putting the labels in was like wow. Anyways. I would put music on, but the writers of the music we have as the soundtrack were too lazy to write me a piece. The music is because I was lonely and bored of talking to myself so I put music on and the swell of the violins in the _Overture to Glinka’s Russlan and Ludmilla_ was just so perfect, and since you won’t be needing your phone, can I just have it? [takes phone out of his hand] There’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while now…

[FIDDLES WITH PHONE FOR A BIT]

Woman: There, new and improved.

[PUTS IT BACK ON JOHN]

Woman: You can touch it, examine it, there are no fingerprints of mine anywhere. _No one’s gonna get me!_

Sherlock [o.s]: Think again.

Woman: Shit.

John: Sorry, did I mention that the only way to turn off the earpiece was using the terminal?

Woman: Well shit.

Sherlock [entering stage right]: Pity you didn’t manage to think this one through. Lestrade you can move in for the arrest.

[SHERLOCK WALKS STRAIGHT OVER TO JOHN; AT THE SAME MOMENT, LESTRADE ENTERS STAGE RIGHT, AND THE WOMAN LUNGES FOR JOHN’S PHONE]

Woman: You can’t convict me! You’ve no proof!

[SHE STARTS PLAYING WITH THE PHONE, WHICH LESTRADE COMES AND TAKES OUT OF HER HANDS]

Lestrade: Nice try, Ms. Taylor. It’s good to see you again. Colin, arrest her.

[AS THEY MOVE, CUE _WE WALK TOGETHER_ ]

Lestrade [pausing]: Christ, that song again?

[MUSIC CUTS OUT, WE CAN HEAR THE WOMAN HOWLING AS SHE’S TAKEN OFF STAGE]

John: I had forgotten how much I hated business.

Lestrade: Really?

John: Christ, Harry was studying business and I remember helping her with her terms. Christ, every time I quizzed her, I nearly fell asleep.

[SHERLOCK GIVES A SNORT BEFORE SCHOOLING HIS FACE BACK INTO SOMETHING NEUTRAL]

Lestrade: Sounded boring.

John: You don’t know the half of it.

Lestrade: You two will have to swing by the station tomorrow morning. Go home, relax. You caught the Professional.

Sherlock: Not a hard catch.

Lestrade: Right. See you in the morning.

[LESTRADE EXITS STAGE RIGHT; HALF A MOMENT LATER, A YOUNG WOMAN COMES WALKING IN]

Sherlock: Tell my brother no.

John: What?

Young woman: Mr. Holmes said not to take no as an answer.

John: Christ, are we being abducted again?

Sherlock: My brother appears to need us for footwork.

John: Is that the case we abandoned before Moriarty?

Sherlock: Yes. He did say he abhorred footwork.

John: Right then. [to the young woman] We’re coming.

Young woman: That’s what I hoped you would say.

[ALL THREE EXIT THROUGH THE DOOR, STAGE RIGHT. LIGHTS DOWN]

John [as they’re walking out]: How the hell did he know we’d be in Eton?

Sherlock [o.s]: He’s the British government, remember?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	2. Act Two, Scene Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the monster scene is here. Two major songs, back to back, AND we hear John's awesome ringtone (I've been dared to make this his ringtone, and someone else suggested another song for Sherlock's, which we hear as well, if not here, then in a later chapter). Also, ignore the (round bracket cues). Those are external cues that I can't be bothered to delete, and they go in accordance with the lyrics to the songs Sherlock is playing.
> 
> Yes yes, I've been quiet on tumblr recently. My sincerest apologies - I've been volunteering at camp and working and when I'm not doing that I'm betaing or trying to keep writing some other projects and the music has kind of fallen on the back burner. 
> 
> BUT FEAR NOT! As soon as I finish this Coldplay album, I'm going to keep working on the music for the song I mentioned in the last tumblr post. Stay tuned.
> 
> Shout out to the huge amount of support I found from the campers at camp! Special thanks to my fellow volunteer and DECA-iac. You know who you are :)
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Stay tuned for Cast Auditions, which will be starting up when I finish writing the scenes.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to Ariane DeVere for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE TWO

[LIGHTS UP ON BAKER STREET. HEY PLOT TWIST – THAT LAST SET? WAS BAKER STREET COVERED IN PLASTIC WITH THE CHAIRS REMOVED! ANYWAYS, LIGHTS UP ON BAKER STREET. THERE IS CHRISTMAS IN THE AIR (YAY), AND THE FLAT IS LIT UP WITH TINY LITTLE LIGHTS (if we can have snow falling on the outside too, that’d be nice). JOHN IS IN HIS CHAIR, SHERLOCK IS PLAYING VIOLIN, THE FIRE IS CRACKLING, AND SHERLOCK SEEMS TO BE GIVING A SMALL PERFORMANCE FOR JOHN, STARTING WITH _HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS,_ THEN MIXING _WHITE CHRISTMAS_ ]

(ext. cue: _lyric ‘gay’)_

Mrs. Hudson:  Yoo whoo boys!

John[stands to greet her]: Merry Christmas, Mrs. Hudson.

Mrs. Hudson: You too, dearie.  Merry Christmas Sherlock!

[THEY STAND AND LISTEN TO HIM FOR A BIT (faithful friends)]

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, isn’t he just wonderful on that violin of his?

John: He is.

Mrs. Hudson: It’s my favourite Christmas song.

[JOHN PATS HER HAND, SHERLOCK STARTS SLIGHTLY DANCING TO THE MUSIC; JOHN ASKS FOR THE DANCE, AND THEY START DOING A BIT OF DANCING (one day soon); NEXT IN IS LESTRADE, LOOKING LIKE THE HANDSOME DEVIL HE IS]

Lestrade (now): Happy Christmas all.

John and Mrs. Hudson[dancing]: Happy Christmas.

[SHERLOCK KEEPS DANCING AND PLAYING – HE’S SLIGHTLY MORE QUIET THAN USUAL; HIS FLAME IS SLIGHTLY MORE DIMMED; ORCHESTRA COMES IN AT THIS POINT]

Lestrade: This certainly is cozy. (have yourself with orch)

[THEY STOP DANCING]

Mrs. Hudson: Isn’t he just wonderful?

[HE TAKES HIS JACKET OFF]

Lestrade: That he is.

Mrs. Hudson: And to get the music to support him like that. He certainly is a great musician.

Lestrade: Yes, I was wondering about that – the music and orchestra usually are the mood, right, you can’t control them?

Mrs. Hudson: I don’t think you can, dear.

Lestrade: I’ve never heard of someone who can manipulate it like that…

[BRIEF PAUSE AS THEY ALL LISTEN]

John [suddenly, (our troubles)]: Can I get you something to drink?

Lestrade: Sure, whatever you’re having.

John: Right.

[WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN, MOLLY ENTERS THROUGH THE DOOR WITH A LIGHT KNOCK (here we are)]

Molly: Knock knock.

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, Molly dear, you look beautiful!

Molly: Thanks Mrs. Hudson. Happy Christmas, all.

Mrs. Hudson: You too dearie.

John [from kitchen]: Happy Christmas!

Lestrade: Happy Christmas.

Mrs. Hudson: John, dear, what happened to that girl who kept coming over here?

John [from kitchen, ( two words before once more)]: Jeanette? She should be coming soon.

[SHERLOCK HITS A SOUR NOTE, WHICH THE ORCHESTRA CATCHES, BUT RESUMES PLAYING]

Mrs. Hudson [unimpressed]: That’s nice dear.

[THEY SIT IN SILENCE AS SHERLOCK KEEPS DANCING, JOHN RENTERS.]

John: Molly, have a seat! Can I get you something?

Molly: No, it’s alright.

John: You sure? Tea?

Molly: Actually, tea would be lovely. Thank you John.

[SHERLOCK TRANSITIONS INTO _WHITE CHRISTMAS_ ]

John: Right.

[ORCHESTRA FADES IN AS HE MOVES TO THE KITCHEN; SHERLOCK FINISHES IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES JOHN TO GET THE DRINK, LIGHT CHATTER IN THE BACKGROUND]

Mrs. Hudson: Lovely, Sherlock! That was lovely!

[SHERLOCK GIVES A HALF BOW AS EVERYONE GETS SETTLED, AND STARTS PUTTING HIS VIOLIN AWAY. THE ORCHESTRA TAKES OVER WITH THE MUSIC HE WAS JUST PLAYING, TAKING IT AS BACKGROUND; ENTER JEANETTE; MRS. HUDSON LAUGHS AT SHERLOCK’S LITTLE BOW]

Mrs. Hudson: I wish you could have worn the antlers!

Sherlock: Some things are best left to the imagination.

Jeanette [at the door]: Happy Christmas all.

[VARIOUS GREETINGS GO UP AROUND THE ROOM]

Sherlock [politely, absentmindedly]: Happy Christmas, Sarah.

[JOHN’S OVER INSTANTLY, DOING DAMAGE CONTROL]

John [going over to her]: He’s not good with names. Ignore him.

[SHERLOCK, STRAIGHTENING UP FROM PUTTING HIS VIOLIN AWAY]

Sherlock: No no no, I can get this. No – Sarah was the doctor; then there was nose, then spots then… who was the one after the boring teacher?

Jeanette [bristling]: No one.

Sherlock: Jeanette! [false smile] Ah, process of elimination.

[JEANETTE IS SHEPHERDED AWAY TO MOLLY BY JOHN AS SHERLOCK’S RINGTONE (it's GAY!, if you're wondering) GOES OFF]

Mrs. Hudson: Oh that’s rude.

Molly: That wasn’t..

Sherlock: No, it was me.

Lestrade: My god, _really?_

Sherlock: My _phone._

Lestrade: Right.

[SHERLOCK PULLS OUT PHONE AS EVERYONE WATCHES HIM]

Irene [o.s.] _Mantelpiece._

[SHERLOCK WALKS TOWARDS THE FIREPLACE AS EVERYONE WATCHES, THEN PICKS SOMETHING UP, SLIDING IT INTO HIS POCKET IN AN ATTEMPT TO BE DISCREET]

Sherlock: Excuse me.

[WALKS OFF STAGE RIGHT, GOING THROUGH THE KITCHEN]

John[calling after him]: Do you ever reply to her?

[EVERYONE LOOKS AT JOHN, SHOCKED]

Jeanette [suddenly]: My friends are so wrong about you.

[THE WHOLE ROOM BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE, AND THEY ALL SCATTER INTO THE KITCHEN, AND MRS. HUDSON PROCEEDS TO LISTEN INTO THE CONVERSATION WHILE LESTRADE AND MOLLY STAND AWKWARDLY IN SILENCE]

John: Hmm?

Jeanette: You’re a _great_ boyfriend.

John [looking affronted]: Okay. That’s good, I always _thought_ I was great.

Jeanette: And Sherlock Holmes is a very lucky man.

[JOHN GROANS AS JEANETTE GETS UP AND WALKS TOWARD THE DOOR]

Jeanette: It’s heart-warming. You’ll do anything for him and he can’t even tell your girlfriends apart.

[PUTTING HER COAT ON]

John: No, I’ll do anything for _you._ Just tell me what I’m not doing!

Jeanette: Don’t make me compete with Sherlock Holmes.

John: I’ll walk your dog for you.

Jeanette: I don’t _have_ a dog!

John: Because that was the last one…

Jeanette: Jesus!

[GOING DOWN THE STAIRS]

John[calling]: I’ll call you.

Jeanette[o.s]: NO!

[DOOR SLAMS, JOHN SIGHS, EXASPERATED, AS MRS. HUDSON, LESTRADE AND MOLLY COME OUT OF THE KITCHEN, HALF A MOMENT LATER, SHERLOCK COMES BARRELLING OUT OF HIS ROOM, NOT SAYING A WORD, GRABS HIS COAT AND WHIRLS OUT THE FRONT DOOR. THE DOOR SLAMS AGAIN. LESTRADE AND MOLLY BOTH SEE HIM]

Mrs. Hudson [sympathetically]: That really wasn’t very good, was it?

John: No, not really.

[MRS. HUDSON AND LESTRADE MOVE TO SIT DOWN ON THE COUCH AS MOLLY AND JOHN MOVE TO THE WINDOW AND WATCH THE FALLING SNOW.]

Molly: How’d you know who texted?

[LIGHTS HAVE STARTED GOING DOWN AROUND THE TWO OF THEM LEAVING MOLLY IN THE SPOTLIGHT DOWNSTAGE CENTRE, AND JOHN SLIGHTLY IN LIGHT, CUE _IRENE ADLER]_

[ _Irene Adler_ ](http://musescore.com/user/207805/scores/231721)

_John: You have heard of Irene Adler?_

_Molly: Irene Adler, who’s that?_

_John: You haven’t heard of her?_

_Molly: No._

_John: Sherlock and I met her on a case, and I spent like five minutes with her. She scared me. He always seemed different after that, like he loved her. And now she sends him her phone?_

_[PHONE RINGS, (little snippet from[this](http://www.youtube.com/v/LZoO8LyizLA?autoplay=1))  JOHN LOOKS STARTLED] _

_John: That’s me, I think .. do you mind?_

_Molly: Not at all._

_[AS JOHN MOVES AWAY, WE HEAR HIM MUTTER, “THAT DAMN PROFESSIONAL, STEALING MY PHONE”; HE’S NOW IN DARKNESS, UP STAGE, WHICH HAS BECOME A PLATEAU.]_

Molly:

Who is Irene Adler?

And how has she managed to capture his heart?

There must be something she’s done.

How did she do it,

How did she capture his heart?

 

There must be secrets

And stuff unknown

She really knows him

If she managed to capture his heart

 

Irene Adler

Who is she?

Irene Adler

Where did she go?

I need to speak to Irene Adler,

And then I can know

How she took Sherlock’s heart

And gave it a home.

[IRENE ENTERS STAGE LEFT, AND SHE GETS HER OWN SPOT LIGHT; WHEN SHE STARTS SINGING MOLLY DOESN’T MOVE, EVEN AS IRENE GOES AROUND HER, AND STROKES HER ARMS, AND ANGLES HER CHIN]

Irene:

Dear sweet lady,

I did not manage to take his heart.

To take Sherlock’s heart, you must capture his mind

You must be someone he cannot define

Become a mystery

 

I know you cannot hear me,

That’s why I have no qualms telling you this

And he is dead to me, and I am dead to him

And you should know, he’s only got eyes for John

 

Molly:

Irene Adler

Who is this woman who has captured his heart?

Irene Adler who has captured his heart?

 

| 

Irene:

My dear child you must know

Everyone knows, dear

Everyone knows

Everyone knows that Sherlock Holmes

Only has eyes for John  
  
---|---  
  
Irene Adler,

Where did she go?

I need to speak to her and find out how she melted his heart

Got through his eyes, got to his mind.

Irene Adler,

I really need to talk and

Ask how she managed to steal the heart and mind of Sherlock Holmes.

 

Irene:

But my dear, that’s not what I did!

I just simply intrigued him,

He opened his heart when John Watson walked through those doors

 

[IRENE EXITS STAGE LEFT, SENSUOUSLY MOVING OFF STAGE, HER BLACK DRESS MAKING HER BLEND IN QUICKLY; HER LIGHT FADES OUT, AND SLOWLY THE LIGHTS GO UP IN THE BACKGROUND]

 

Molly:

Irene Adler

Tell me your secrets

How did you manage to take the heart and mind of Sherlock Holmes?

Irene Adler

[CUE OUT _IRENE ADLER,_ BY THE TIME THE SONG FINISHES, THE LIGHTS ARE BACK ON IN FULLY, AND THE PLATEAU BECOMES ALIVE]

 

John: That was Mycroft. He’s meeting Sherlock. Says he’s concerned it might be a danger night?

Mrs. Hudson: Oh.

Lestrade: Oh Christ no.

Mrs. Hudson: Did he tell you where to check?

John: Check?

Lestrade: For the drugs.

John: Drugs?

Lestrade: Christ John, do you not remember your first night here? I mean, I know it was all the way at the beginning of Act One, but you should remember the conversation during our fake drugs bust.

John: No?

[LESTRADE SIGHS, CUING _TONIGHT’S A DANGER NIGHT_ ]

[ _Tonight’s a Danger Night_ ](http://musescore.com/user/262326/scores/243661)

Molly:

This is it, tonight!

Tonight’s a danger night!

We need to know

That Sherlock Holmes

Does not do drugs tonight!

 

Mrs. Hudson:

I’ll check his socks,

And under the bed.

He’s Sherlock Holmes,

God only knows

He’ll hide it well if he wants to.

 

Both:

There must be places he’s hidden it,

Places from before.

In the fire, up on the wall,

_John[to Lestrade]: On the wall?_

_[LESTRADE NODS]_

Molly:

Shall I check the stove?

Mrs Hudson:

He’s Sherlock Holmes, he’ll hide it in somewhere safe.

 

Lestrade:

Now, hold on, let’s wait.

Wait and see,

Let’s not worry about

Sherlock Holmes

Til it’s ness’ry .

 

All but John:

Oooh

This is it, tonight!

Tonight’s a danger night!

We need to know

That Sherlock Holmes

Does not do drugs tonight!

 

[MOLLY AND MRS HUDSON START CHECKING THE FLAT AS LESTRADE AND JOHN SING]

John:

Really, Greg, him?

Sherlock, a junkie?

Lestrade:

You didn’t know him,

All those years ago.

 

He was all alone,

Even with the work,

When I met him,

He was just skin and bone,

And acting like a berk

 

_John: Well, nothing’s changed then._

Lestrade:

Then he met you,

And became much better,

Less abuse, less insults,

Less drugs all around

Oh that damn Sherlock Holmes

put us all through hell

 

All:

Ohh

 

This is it, tonight!

Tonight’s a danger night!

We need to know

That Sherlock Holmes

Does not do drugs tonight!

 

[CUE OUT _TONIGHT’S A DANGER NIGHT_. MOLLY AND MRS. HUDSON COME IN FROM WHERE THEY WERE LOOKING]

Mrs. Hudson: Nothing.

Molly: There’s nothing in the kitchen, or the living room.

Mrs. Hudson: Nothing in the bedroom or the bathroom.

[JOHN’S PHONE RINGS]

Lestrade: Christ John, what happened to your dignified ringtone?

John: Remember the Eton case? Yea, the killer took my phone, and I can’t figure out how to put it back. Sherlock refuses to help.

Lestrade: But does your whole family think you’re gay? I think it’s a message.

John: Shut up.

[ANSWERS THE PHONE]

Mycroft [downstage right]: Have you found anything.

John: No. Did he take the cigarette?

Mycroft:  Yes.

John: Shit.

[LOOKS ROUND TO THE OTHERS]

John: He’s coming. Ten minutes.

Mrs. Hudson: Tell him.

John[back to Mycroft]: Looks like he’s clean. We’ve tried all the usual places. Are you sure tonight’s a danger night?

Mycroft: No, but then again, I never am. Stay with him, John.

John: Well it’s not like I have any plans.

Mycroft [smiling]: I know.

[HANGS UP AND LIGHTS CUT OUT AS HE EXITS STAGE LEFT]

John: Mycroft. My..

[LOOKS AT THE PHONE IN SURPRISE]

John: He’s gone.

[POCKETS THE PHONE]

Lestrade: Well I’m gone. Early morning, going to Dorset with the missus.

John: Wait aren’t you with Mycroft? And aren’t you divorced...?

Lestrade: …. Maybe …

Mrs. Hudson [oblivious]:  Send her our wishes.

Lestrade: Will do. See you in the new year.

[JOHN LOOKS AT HIM, LESTRADE GIVES HIM A SUNNY SMILE]

Lestrade: Don’t hesitate to call.

John: I won’t.

[LESTRADE LEAVES STAGE RIGHT, THROUGH THE DOORS]

Molly: Well I have to be off as well. I’ve… plans.

John: Right. That’s fine. Have a good Christmas.

Molly: You too John.

[LEAVES STAGE RIGHT AFTER A HUG TO MRS. HUDSON; JOHN SITS DOWN IN A CHAIR, POURING HIMSELF A DRINK]

Mrs. Hudson: You have a good night dearie.

John: Happy Christmas Mrs. Hudson.

Mrs. Hudson: You too dearie.

[EXITS STAGE RIGHT, LEAVING JOHN ALONE WITH HIS DRINK. CUE _It’s the Most Wonderful Time_ ]

John: Bloody hell, I’m not in the mood for Christmas music.

 [HE SITS IN SILENCE AS THE MUSIC WRAPS OVER HIM; SHERLOCK ENTERS AT THE POINT WHERE THE LYRICS GO “there’ll be holiday meetings” it’s really “there’ll be gay happy meetings”  ]

John [epic fail at being nonchalant]: Oh, hi.

[SHERLOCK LOOKS AROUND, HIS BEAUTIFUL CURLS AND SHOULDERS SPRINKLED WHITE]

John: You okay?

[SHERLOCK PAUSES FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN WALKS TO THE KITCHEN]

Sherlock [calling over his shoulder]: Hope you didn’t mess up my sock index this time.

[VANISHES INTO HIS BEDROOM AND SLAMS THE DOOR SHUT. JOHN SIGHS]

John [to himself]: Merry Christmas, John. At least you made it.

[LIGHTS GO DOWN AS MUSIC FINISHES, LEAVING JOHN IN HIS CHAIR]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	3. Act Two, Scene Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes my friends, it is Wednesday. It is also the last Wednesday of summer. Saying that, here's a cute little fluffy scene where.... well, you'll see.
> 
> The characters are kinda OC here, but eh, it's fluff, and I like it so. 
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Stay tuned for Cast Auditions, which will be starting up when I finish writing the scenes.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to Ariane DeVere for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE THREE

[LIGHTS UP ON BAKER STREET. THE CHRISTMAS MUSIC IS GONE, SO ARE THE LIGHTS. IT SEEMS VERY BRIGHT OUT, SO IT’S MARCH. YUP. ANYWAYS. SHERLOCK’S LOUNGING ON THE COUCH, WEARING HIS LOUNGING ATTIRE OF THE DRESSING GOWN, THE _BORED SONG BELOW (_ cues out whenever it finishes)GOING BELOW HIM, AS HE LAMENTS IN SILENCE. HE’S LIKE THIS UNTIL JOHN COMES IN, A FEW MOMENTS LATER]

John [entering into the kitchen]: I got take out.

[SHERLOCK GIVES NO REPLY]

John: It’s Chinese, and it’s good. I looked at the bottom third of the door handle.

Sherlock [slightly more interested]: Fortune cookies?

John: Yes.

[SHERLOCK’S SUDDENLY INTERESTED]

John: I should have known.

[STARTS SETTING UP THE TAKEOUT ON THE KITCHEN TABLE, WHICH IS FULL OF EXPERIMENTS, SEEMS TO THINK BETTER OF IT, THEN MOVES IT INTO THE LIVING ROOM]

John: It’s nice to have a break from cases.

Sherlock [noncommittally, as he’s looking through the food]: Hmm

John: You can eat the fortune cookies after you have some food, which you are having, because there’s no case on.

[SHERLOCK GLARES AT HIM]

John: You know, I was thinking of playing Cluedo, but I can always put a Bond movie on.

Sherlock: God that’s tedious.

John: Sherlock, come on, it’ll be fun.

Sherlock: Fun’s boring.

[JOHN LAUGHS]

Sherlock: It’s not funny. It’s true.

John: Right, well finish eating, and we’ll play Cluedo.

[SHERLOCK INHALES A BOX AS THEY SIT IN CONTENTED SILENCE. MAYBE A HAPPY TUNE IS PICKED OUT ON A VIOLIN, MAYBE NOT. SHERLOCK THEN REACHES FOR A FORTUNE COOKIE]

John: Christ, slow down. You haven’t eaten in days. You’re going to make yourself sick.

Sherlock: Hurry up so I can open the fortune cookie.

[JOHN LOOKS AT HIM, BUT SHERLOCK MEETS THE LOOK WITH A SMILE, AND A CONTENTED FEELING HITS THE AIR, CUE _VARIATION ON THE THEME_. JOHN TAKES A FEW MORE BITES BEFORE PUTTING ASIDE THE CONTAINER HE WAS EATING OUT OF.]

Sherlock: If I have to eat, you do too.

John: I did.

Sherlock: You had three bites.

John: But I eat on a more regular basis than you do. I just want you to stop bugging me about the fortune cookie.

[GRABS TWO, GIVES ONE TO SHERLOCK AND THEY OPEN THE WRAPPER]

John: We break them on three.

Sherlock: I haven’t predicted what they’re going to say!

John: You’ve only predicted correctly once in the entire time I’ve known you. And that was the first night.

Sherlock [gravely]:  “Your true love will show himself to you under the moonlight.” Mine was “You will have unexpected good luck.”

John [laughing at the memories]: You didn’t guess yours. You got mine though. Okay, so, Mr. Resident Genius. Tell me, what is my fortune cooking going to tell me?

Sherlock[scoffs]: I never guess.

[JOHN LAUGHS HEARTILY]

Sherlock [thinks for a moment]: “Never give up on someone that you don’t go a day thinking about.”

[JOHN STARES AT HIM]

Sherlock [snaps]: What?

John: You’re going word for word?

Sherlock: Obvious.

John [after a pause]: So what’s yours?

Sherlock [like he knows something]: Something tedious, I presume.

John: Right – On three. One. Two. Three.

[THEY BREAK OPEN THEIR COOKIES AT THE SAME TIME]

John [reading his]: “Never give up on someone that you don’t go a day thinking about..” [awe] Christ Sherlock, you are good.

Sherlock: Obviously.

[JOHN GAPES FOR A FEW MORE MOMENTS BEFORE SHERLOCK GETS UP IN A HUFF, PUTS THE SLIP OF PAPER DOWN ON THE TABLE, NEXT TO THE FOOD, AND GOES AND LOOKS FOR CLUEDO.]

John[reading the slip]: “You will soon embark on a business venture.” Well then. Can I come?

Sherlock [pausing from his rummaging]: Obvious.

[EMERGES TRIUMPHANT A FEW MOMENTS LATER, CLUEDO IN HAND, SITS DOWN ON THE SOFA AND READS THE RULES.]

Sherlock [looking up]: This game is fun, John, really?

John: Solve the murder.

[SHERLOCK READS A BIT OF THE RULES OUT LOUD. I’M NOT TYPING THEM OUT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE THE GAME HANDY]

Sherlock [after reading the description]: Oh, it’s obvious. The victim faked his own death.

John: That’s impossible.

Sherlock:  Call it impossible, but once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

John: Seriously.

Sherlock: Why would I joke about this? It’s a boring game.

John: Fine, Bond it is.

[GETS UP, PICKS A DVD UP, AND PUTS IT INTO THE PLAYER, THEN WALKS BACK OVER TO THE SOFA]

John: Budge over.

[SHERLOCK MOVES AND TURNS THE LAMP OFF AND THE TWO END UP CURLED UP ON THE COUCH]

John: People would talk.

Sherlock: Shut up, you’re missing the beginning of the monotony of a tedious movie.

John: Shut up.

[REMAINING LIGHTS GO OFF, AND AFTER A FEW MOMENTS OF THEM WATCHING, THE TV GOES OFF, PLUNGING THE FLAT INTO SILENCE AND DARKNESS]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> As a totally random side note, I did look up the most common fortunes in fortune cookies in Britain, and I picked these because they were hilarious and they fit (recall the scene where Sherlock is standing on a roof in the first ep. He's in the moonlight. JUST SAYING).


	4. Act Two, Scene Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again. Yes, the chapter counter is up. After much deliberation (and some idea-bouncing off of unwilling participants), I have decided how the remainder of the Act as well as the musical will go. Apparently the ending is heart-wrenching, according to my unwilling participant.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Stay tuned for Cast Auditions, which will be starting up when I finish writing the scenes.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts, and for this scene only, special thanks to Emillu's [ remake project ](http://emillu.tumblr.com/tagged/remakeproject/chrono) for giving me a guide for the scene.
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE FOUR (thanks to Emillu)

[LIGHTS UP ON BAKER STREET. THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS ARE GONE (STILL), THERE IS FULL SUN, AND JOHN IS SITTING, IN HIS ARMCHAIR, ON HIS LAPTOP. SHERLOCK ENTERS SUDDENLY, STAGE RIGHT, CARRYING A HARP, A BLOODY HARP. LIKE THE INSTRUMENT. BOTH HE AND THE BLOODY HARP ARE BLOODY]

Sherlock: Well that was tedious.

John: Christ, Sherlock. You went on the tube like that?

[SHERLOCK LOOKS AT JOHN]

Sherlock: None of the cabs would take me.

[HE LEAVES THE HARP IN THE LIVING ROOM AS HE VANISHES INTO THE KITCHEN, AND THEN INTO HIS ROOM, CUE _ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC - LIVING ROOM_ , AND WHEN HE RENTERS, HE STARTS PACING, HAULING THE HARP WITH HIM, AS JOHN CHANGES HIS LAPTOP FOR A NEWSPAPER, CUE OUT _ATMOSPHERIC MUSIC- LIVING ROOM_ ]

John: Just put the bloody harp down.

[SHERLOCK IGNORES HIM, CONTINUING TO PACE]

Sherlock: Nothing?

John: Military Coup in Uganda.

Sherlock: Hmm.

John [turning the page]: Cabinet reshuffle.

Sherlock: Nothing of importance?

[STOPS HIS PACING]

Sherlock: OH GOD!

[FACES JOHN]

Sherlock: John… I need some. Give me some.

[JOHN LOOKS UP FROM THE NEWSPAPER/PUTS IT DOWN]

John: No.

Sherlock: GIVE ME SOME!

John: NO. Cold turkey, we agreed, no matter what. And besides, [picks up the newspaper again] you’ve paid everyone off, remember? No one within a two mile radius will sell you any.

Sherlock: Stupid idea. Whose idea was that?

[JOHN CLEARS HIS THROAT AND GLARES AT SHERLOCK]

Sherlock: MRS. HUDSON!

John: Look, Sherlock, you’re doing really well. Don’t give up now.

[SHERLOCK WHIRLS AND FRANTICALLY STARTS TO LOOK FOR SOMETHING]

Sherlock:  Tell me where they are. Please. Tell me. … Please.

John [back to his newspaper]: Can’t help, sorry.

Sherlock [uncharacteristically kneeling by John, peeling down the newspaper; he looks kinda stiff (no pun intended)]: Oh, please, John. Just one time. For me.

John: Nice try, but I’m not giving in.

Sherlock:  I’ll let you know next week’s lottery numbers.

John: HA! You can’t even get the fortune cookies right!

Sherlock: Oh it was worth a try.

[MRS HUDSON APPEARS AT THE DOORWAY]

Mrs. Hudson: Ooh ooh!{you-whoo?} (or however one spells what Mrs. Hudson says)

[JOHN GOES BRIGHT RED AND PUSHES SHERLOCK BACK; SHERLOCK LOOKS STARTLED FOR A SECOND AS HE’S FLUNG BACKWARDS]

John: Oh my god!

[SHERLOCK RECOVERS AND CRAWLS OVER TO THE FIREPLACE]

Sherlock: My secret supply; what have you done with my secret supply?

[A COUPLE OF JAUNTY NOTES COME UP FROM THE ORCHESTRA]

John: Oh god, no we don’t need a song about your secret supply.

[THE CHORDS DIE]

Mrs. Hudson: Eh?

Sherlock [glaring at John for cutting off the song]: Cigarettes! What have you done with them? Where are they?

[COUPLE OF MORE CHORDS SPRING UP]

John: _No._

[CHORDS DIE AS MRS. HUDSON STARTS POINTING, FLUSTERED, AROUND THE FLAT]

Mrs. Hudson: You know you never let me touch your things. Ooh, a chance would be a fine thing.

[A COUPLE OF MORE CHORDS SPRING UP]

John: _Christ!_ Have you people not sung recently?

[BOTH IGNORE JOHN, MUSIC DIES AGAIN]

Sherlock: I thought you weren’t my housekeeper.

Mrs. Hudson: I’m not.

[JAUNTY LITTLE TUNE STARTS UP, JOHN GLARES AT MRS. HUDSON BEFORE GOING TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL AND STORMS OVER TO THE CONDUCTOR, WHOM HE HAS A FEW WORDS WITH]

Mrs. Hudson: How about a nice cuppa, and perhaps you could put away your harp.

John [raising voice]: Don’t let it happen again!

[WALKS BACK OVER TO ARM CHAIR AS THE CONDUCTOR LEANS FORWARD TO THE ORCHESTRA]

Sherlock: I need something stronger than tea! Seven percent stronger.

[RANDOM CHORD YET AGAIN, AND JOHN PAUSES ON HIS WAY TO THE ARMCHAIR AS THE CONDUCTOR FRANTICALLY WAVES TO SHUT THE MUSIC, SHERLOCK WHIRLS TO FACE MRS. HUDSON, JOHN VANISHES BACK INTO HIS NEWSPAPER]

Sherlock: You’ve been to see Mr. Chatterjee again.

Mrs. Hudson: Pardon?

[JOHN LOOKS UP FROM THE NEWSPAPER]

Sherlock: Sandwich shop. That’s a new dress, but there’s flour on the sleeve. You wouldn’t dress like that for baking.

John: Sherlock..

Sherlock [inhales]: Mmm. Kashbah Nights. Pretty racy for first thing on a Monday morning, wouldn’t you agree? I’ve written a little blog on the identification of perfumes. It’s on the website. You should look it up.

Mrs. Hudson: Please.

Sherlock: I wouldn’t pin your hopes on the cruise with Mr. Chatterjee. He’s got a wife in Doncaster that nobody knows about.

[MRS. HUDSON LOOKS SHOCKED AND JOHN’S LIKE NAH BRO]

John: Sherlock!

Sherlock [misinterprets John’s tone]: Well, nobody except me.

Mrs. Hudson: I don’t know what you’re talking about! I really don’t!

[LEAVES IN A HUFF, SLAMMING THE DOOR BEHIND HER]

John: What the bloody hell was that all about??

[SHERLOCK CURLS UP TO MOPE IN THE CHAIR]

Sherlock: You don’t understand.

John: Go after her and apologise.

Sherlock [looking up]: Apologise?

John [sassy]: MMMmmmmmm-hhhm

Sherlock: Oh John, I envy you so much.

John: YOU envy ME?

Sherlock: Your mind: it’s so placid, straightforward, barely used. Mine’s like an engine, racing out of control; a rocket tearing itself to pieces, trapped on the launch pad. I NEED A CASE.

John: YOU’VE JUST SOLVED ONE! By murdering a poor harpist, apparently.

[THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER]

John: You didn’t murder the harpist, by any chance.

Sherlock [snaps]: Don’t be obtuse. Why would I murder a harpist? That goes against everything I do.

John [changing the subject]: Nothing on the website?

Sherlock [prances over to get his laptop, handing it to John]: “Dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I can’t find Bluebell anywhere. Please please please can you help?”

John [confused]: Bluebell?

Sherlock [exasperated]: A rabbit, John!

John: Oh.

Sherlock: AH! BUT THERE’S MORE! Before Bluebell disappeared, it turned luminous “like a fairy” [flaps arms] according to little Kirsty; then the next morning, Bluebell was gone! Hutch still locked, no sign of a forced entry….

[PAUSES HIS PACING]

Sherlock: AH! _What am I saying?_ This is **_brilliant!_** Phone Lestrade; tell him there’s an escaped rabbit.

John: Are you serious?

Sherlock: It’s this, or Cluedo.

John [rising]: Ah, no! We are _never_ playing that again!

Sherlock: Why not?

John: You know why not! _It’s not actually possible for the victim to have done it, Sherlock._

Sherlock [offended] : Well, it was the only possible solution!

John: It’s not in the rules.

Sherlock [sniping]: Then the rules are _wrong!_

[DOOR BELL RINGS]

John: Single ring.

Sherlock: Maximum pressure just under the half second.

John & Sherlock: Client!

[HENRY KNIGHT ENTERS STAGE RIGHT AS THE BOYS SCRAMBLE TO GET THEMSELVES INTO SOME SEMBLANCE OF NORMALCY; THE BLOODY HARP IS STILL LEFT BY THE WINDOW]

Henry: H – is that a harp?

John [long suffering]: Yes. Don’t ask.

Henry: Uh, right. I’m Henry Knight.

[TRIES TO FIND A PLACE TO SIT]

John: Right so why don’t you tell us about the case.

Henry: I’ve a video.

[HOLDS OUT THE VIDEO]

Sherlock: I prefer to do my own interviews.

[SILENCE]

Henry: Well, I was around 9 when my father was killed – killed by a massive HOUND.

Sherlock: A HOUND.

Henry: Right, enormous, black with red glowing eyes. It tore him apart.

John: Enormous dog or wolf?

Sherlock [grinning]: Or genetic experiment.

John [ignoring the grinning, leaning towards Henry]: Henry, what happened to your father happened twenty years ago. Why come to us now?

Sherlock [jumping in]: Because of what happened last night.

Henry: H- how did you know what happened -?

[SHERLOCK ROLLS HIS EYES]

Sherlock: I don’t know, I notice.

Henry: But how on earth did you notice?

John: It’s not important….

Sherlock: Punched out holes where your ticket’s been punched.

John: Not now, Sherlock.

Sherlock: Oh _please._ I’ve been cooped up in here for ages.

John: You’re just showing off.

Sherlock: Of _course._ I _am_ a show-off, that’s what we _do_.

[AWKWARD PAUSE AS JOHN CONSULTS HIS NOTES]

John: So your mother died when you were, what seven?

Henry: Yea.

John: Do you think you might have made up the HOUND as a way to explain it?

Henry: That’s what Dr. Mortimer says.

John: And who’s Dr. Mortimer?

Sherlock & Henry: His/my therapist.

Henry: She says I have to go back and face my fears.

Sherlock: So you went back to Dewer’s Hollow, and what did you see?

Henry: On the exact spot where my father was torn apart – footprints.

John: Man’s or a woman’s?

Henry: Neither. They were -

Sherlock [Interrupting]: Is that it? Footprints? Nothing else?

Henry: Yes, but they were –

Sherlock [interrupting once more]: No, sorry, Doctor Mortimer wins; childhood trauma masked by invented memory.

Henry:  What about the footprints?

Sherlock: Oh they’re probably paw prints; could be anything, therefore, nothing. Off to Devon with you.

Henry [rising]: Mr. Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound!

[SHERLOCK PAUSES]

Sherlock: Say that again.

Henry: I saw footpr-

Sherlock: No, say those exact words.

Henry: They were.. the footprints .. of a gigantic hound.

[SHERLOCK BEAMS]

Sherlock: I’ll take the case.

[PACING, CUE _I HAVE A CASE (MASSIVE LEAD IN WITH REPRISE)_ ]

John: Sorry, _what?_

Sherlock: Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

John: No-no what? A moment ago footprints were boring, now they’re promising?

Sherlock: It’s _nothing_ to do with footprints, John. Baskerville; ever heard of it?

John: No?

Sherlock: Sounds like a good place to start.

Henry: Ah! You’ll come down, then?

Sherlock: No, I can’t leave London. Big case. Don’t worry – putting my best man onto it.

[PATS JOHN ON THE SHOULDER; IF HE LEAVES HIS HAND THERE FOR A MOMENT LONGER, WELL, WE CAN’T FAULT HIM FOR THAT]

Sherlock: Always rely on John, here, to send me the relevant data, though he never understands a word of it himself….

John: What are you talking about? You don’t have a case, five minutes ago –

Sherlock: BLUEBELL! Bluebell, John! The case of the vanishing glow-in-the-dark rabbit! NATO’s in uproar.

Henry: Oh, sorry, no, you’re not coming then?

John: Okay.

[WALKS OVER TO MANTLE PIECE, PICKS SOMETHING UP, AND THROWS IT AT SHERLOCK]

Sherlock: I don’t need these anymore, I’m going to Dartmoor. [turns to Henry] You go on ahead, Henry. We’ll follow later.

Henry: Er, sorry you _are_ coming then?

Sherlock: Twenty year old disappearance with a monstrous HOUND? I wouldn’t miss it for the world!!!

Henry: Right.

John: We’ll see you there.

[HENRY NODS AND EXITS STAGE RIGHT AS SHERLOCK STARTS LEAPING OVER THE CHAIRS AND FURNITURE]

_I Have a Case Reprise! (go back to the original one and listen to this part, I'm not posting the reprise)_

Sherlock: 

_A case, John, a case! I have a case!_

_An intriguing case full of complex mysteries!_

_An end to boredom and a chance_

_To prove I’m better than the authorities!_

[FADES BACK TO BACKGROUND MUSIC]

John: I’m going to tell Mrs. Hudson we’ll be away for a few days.

[SHERLOCK CONTINUES TO DANCE AS JOHN EXITS STAGE RIGHT; SHERLOCK REMAINS DANCING ALL OVER THE FURNITURE, AND JOHN COMES IN A MOMENT LATER. CUE OUT _REPRISE_ ]

Sherlock: Ah good.

[VANISHES THROUGH KITCHEN AND COMES OUT A MOMENT LATER, CARRYING TWO IDENTICAL SUITCASES

Sherlock: Pack my bag. I’ll be in my mind palace.

[SWOOPS OFF TO THE COUCH]

John [sighs]: Right.

[HEADS OFF TO PACK AS LIGHTS GO DOWN]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	5. Act Two, Scene Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interesting news: Did you know that Benedict has literally just left Toronto and I'm so mad that I didn't get to go to the premiere that I'm actually sitting here in like that self-loathing feeling?
> 
> Enough about me, though. I've started writing act 3! Yes, the scene process has come to an end. It is now time that I turn to you, audience, and ask (well beg) you to aid me in looking for a cast. And a crew. And the orchestra. Please, if you know someone who would love to be a part of this, talk to them about it. The way this thing is gonna take off is only through word-of-mouth, and the internet community is a great place to start. I realize how pathetic it sounds, but to be fair to myself, I've not had a lot of sleep recently, so I can be super pathetic. Saying that, please talk about this to your friends who love the show. We all love it, and it would be really cool if this were actually preformed.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> I leave you with.... Act Two, Scene Five

ACT TWO, SCENE FIVE

[WE START OUTSIDE. IT SEEMS TO BE A CEMETERY, BECAUSE IT IS ONE. JOHN COMES STORMING ON STAGE, FROM UPSTAGE RIGHT MUTTERING ABOUT SOMETHING.]

John [mocking]: I don’t have friends. I’m Sherlock Holmes and I don’t  need friends, I can survive on my own.

[SHERLOCK FOLLOWS, UPSTAGE RIGHT]

Sherlock: John , what happened last night – something happened to me; something I’ve not really experienced before.

John [trying to get out of there]: Yes, you said: fear. Sherlock Holmes got scared. You said.

[JOHN TURNS TO WALK BUT SHERLOCK CATCHES HIS ARM AND SPINS HIM RIGHT AROUND BABY RIGHT ROUND]

Sherlock: No, it was more than that, John. It was doubt. I felt doubt. I’ve always been able to trust my senses, the evidence of my own eyes, until last night.

John [frowning]: You can’t actually believe that you saw some kind of monster.

Sherlock: No, I can’t believe that. But I did see it, so the question is: how? **_HOW?_**

John [aside]: Can’t be bothered with this. What the hell does it matter what Sherlock has or has not seen? He still can’t treat me like shit. [to Sherlock] Yes. Yeah, right, good. So you’ve got something to go on, then? Good luck with that.

[CALMLY TWISTS OUT OF SHERLOCK’S GRIP AND STARTS TO WALK AWAY, CUE _I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS_ ]

Sherlock: [slightly panicked]:  Listen, what I said before, John, I meant it – I don’t have friends. I’ve just got one.

[JOHN PAUSES]

[ _I Don’t Have Friends_ ](http://musescore.com/user/262326/scores/291226)

Sherlock: John, you are my only friend,

Please don't walk away,

I didn't mean to offend.

Please just hear what I have to say.

 

You lack my intelligence but somehow spark my genius,

You illuminate answers despite the differences between us.

 

I don’t have friends, I have just one,

But as long as that one is you, why should I mind?

 

J: [whispers] _Flatterer_

What other friend would I need when your comments are so well-timed?

They point to the door I need to unlock in my mind,

And yet to the answers you remain completely blind.

 

J:[annoyed] _Alright, yea, I get it._

You bother me about not knowing trivial things,

But really it’s not me,

You’re simply an idiot, you see.

 

But truly, you’re luminous,

Despite your stupidity,

And so you proved your worth

 

I don’t have friends, I just have you,

But as long as you are that one, why should I mind?

Why should I mind?

 

I don’t have friends, I have just one,

But as long as that one is you, why should I mind?

[SHERLOCK’S BEEN SMILEY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE SONG, AND JOHN’S BEEN RELAXING GRADUALLY, AS SHERLOCK HOLDS THE LAST NOTE]

John: You utter git, thank god that’s over.

[BRIEF MOMENT AS THEY BEAM AT EACH OTHER]

Sherlock [excitedly as he bounds off stage]: H.O.U.N.D. What if it’s not a word? What if it’s individual letters?

[EXITS DOWNSTAGE RIGHT]

John [pausing]: And he didn’t notice my additions….

Sherlock [o.s]: Come along John!

[JOHN SIGHS AND EXITS AFTER HIM, LIGHTS FADE DOWN TO BLACKOUT]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's kinda short.. I should probably mention that the rest of the scenes to Act 3 are pretty short as well...
> 
>  
> 
> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	6. Act Two, Scene Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! For all who follow me on tumblr, you might have noticed that I've been .... kinda quiet recently. That's a simple - albeit kinda pathetic - reason: I've been sick with a flu-like cold that rendered me exhausted, spiking a fever that literally just broke, and a nose so congested that I could barely breathe. BUT aside from that, I've enlisted some help on figuring out the opening to Justice (I was having issues with the time signature) so now, I just have to find time to transcribe the remaining 3-4ish songs I have left..  
> Anyways that's far too much about me, and not enough about the musical.
> 
> For those who are interested, I've started using Celtx for script writing and formatting. It's a great app, it's available online AND on the app store. It allows me to not only format the musical, but when we start prepping it, I can communicate with all the cast (and crew) for rehearsals and stuff. Anyways, I love it and you should check it out.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> After a long rant about nothing, I take you to Act 2, Scene 6.

ACT TWO, SCENE SIX

[LIGHTS UP ON WHITE ROOM. CAGES ARE SCATTERED ALL AROUND THE ROOM, AND THE LIGHTS ARE FLICKERING A BIT. JOHN COMES RUNNING ON STAGE RIGHT, AND HE IS OUT OF BREATH. AT A LOUD NOISE THAT SOUNDS LIKE A LARGE, GROWLING ANIMAL, HE SQUEAKS AND DUCKS INTO A NEARBY CAGE. SHERLOCK ENTERS STAGE LEFT AT THAT POINT, AND STANDS AS FAR DOWNSTAGE AS POSSIBLE. HE IS HOLDING HIS PHONE  AND HE TAKES A SEAT RIGHT ON THE EDGE OF THE STAGE. SHADOWS DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, AND IN THE CAGE, WHICH IS UNDER A BLANKET SAVE FOR THE SIDE CLOSEST TO THE AUDIENCE, JOHN COWERS AND WHIMPERS. THE NOISE IS INTERRUPTED BY A PHONE’S RING, WHICH IS JOHN’S, STILL BLARING THAT STUPID SONG. SHERLOCK STARTS TO LAUGH SILENTLY IN HIS CORNER WHEN HE HEARS IT]

John: It’s here. It’s in here with me.

Sherlock: Where are you?

John:  Get me out. You’ve got to get me out Sherlock. The big lab, the first lab that we saw.

[GROWLS AND SHADOWS CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE SCENE]

Sherlock: John? ----- John??

John [whispering?]: Now, Sherlock. _Please._

Sherlock: Keep talking. What are you seeing? ----- John?

[CREATURE SNARLS]

John [softly, kinda resigned]: Yes, I’m here.

Sherlock: What can you see?

[CREATURE GROWLS]

John: Did you hear that?

Sherlock: Stay calm. Did you see it?

[A SHADOW MOVES ACROSS THE FLOOR, AND SHERLOCK HAS MOVED OFFSTAGE AT THIS POINT]

John: It’s here…

[THE SHADOW TAKES ON A MORE HUMAN FORM AND WE SEE SHERLOCK STRIDING ACROSS THE LAB, TUGGING THE SHEET UPWARDS AS JOHN REPEATS “IT’S HERE”]

Sherlock [worriedly]: Are you alright?

[SHERLOCK’S HAND COMES ON HIS SHOULDER, LIGHTS ARE FULL, ILLUMINATING THE WHOLE LAB]

Sherlock: John…

John: Jesus Christ.

Sherlock [placatory]: It’s all right. It’s okay now.

[JOHN RECOILS BACK FROM SHERLOCK’S HAND]

John: NO IT’S NOT OKAY! I saw it, I was wrong!

Sherlock: Well let’s not jump to conclusions.

John: What?

Sherlock: What did you see?

John: I told you- I saw the hound.

Sherlock: Huge, red eyes?

John: Yes.

Sherlock: Glowing?

John: Yes.

Sherlock: No.

John: What?

Sherlock: I made the bit up about the glowing. You saw what you expected to see because I _told_ you. You were drugged. We have all been drugged.

John: Drugged?

Sherlock [briskly]: Can you walk?

John [shakily]: ‘Course.

Sherlock: Come then. Its time to lay this ghost.

[TURNS AND EXITS STAGE LEFT, AND JOHN STUMBLES AFTER HIM. LIGHTS GO DOWN, THE BLACK CURTAINS CLOSE]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short scene - to make up for it, you'll be getting .. another short scene next week.. 
> 
> But I'm told the ending to Act Two is really heart wrenching...
> 
> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	7. Act Two, Scene Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a good week since we last spoke.
> 
> If you follow me on tumblr, you would know that I've started my shameless promotion of this musical, as it is done.(!) There are Three Acts, and 128 pages of words, if you're wondering. As I mentioned in the long pointless post I posted with much fanfare about this fact, I've started working on the songs. I've got one and a half vocal parts transcribed, so all that's required is the rest of the songs and then full orchestra and then I'm done the lyrical songs.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO SCENE SEVEN

[THE SCENE OPENS ON A SUNNY DAY. AT A TABLE, SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF ENSEMBLE CHARACTERS AT OTHER TABLES, JOHN IS EATING, AND A FEW CHARACTERS ARE JUST TALKING. SHERLOCK EMERGES UPSTAGE LEFT AS A “WAITER” COMES OUT TO CLEAR THE PLATES FROM THE TABLE]

John [as Sherlock appears]:  Listen: what happened to me in the lab?

[SHERLOCK STARTS RUMMAGING AROUND, TRYING TO DEFLECT THE TOPIC]

Sherlock: Do you want some sauce with that?

John: I mean, I hadn’t been to the Hollow. You and Henry had both been there when you saw it, but I wasn’t there and I saw it. How did I hear it there? Fear and stimulus, you said.

[SHERLOCK IS TOTALLY AVOIDING THE CONVERSATION]

Sherlock: You must have been dosed with it elsewhere then. I mean, you saw those pipes, pretty ancient, leaky as a sieve, they were carrying the gas so… was it ketchup or brown…?

[JOHN HAS AN EPIPHANY, CUE SPOTLIGHT ON HIM AND SHERLOCK]

John: Hang on, you thought it was in the sugar.

[SHERLOCK JUST LOOKS AT HIM]

John: You were _convinced_ it was in the sugar.

[SHERLOCK LOOKS AWAY]

Sherlock: Better get going. There’s a train in a half hour.

John: Oh God. It was you. _You_ locked me in that bloody lab.

[CUE _I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS OPENING BARS]_

John [quickly]: That only works once – you can’t keep singing the same song and expect it to keep working.

[CUE OUT _I DON’T HAVE FRIENDS OPENING BARS_ ]

Sherlock: Well, I knew what effect the drug had had on a superior mind, so I needed to try it on an average one.

[JOHN SIGHS]

Sherlock:  You know what I mean.

John: But it wasn’t in the sugar.

Sherlock: No, well, I wasn’t to know you’d already been exposed to the gas.

John: So you got it wrong.

Sherlock [quickly]: No.

John: Mm. You were wrong. It wasn’t  in the sugar. [gleeful] You got it _wrong._

Sherlock [speaking quickly]: A bit. It won’t happen again.

[JOHN SIGHS AGAIN]

John: Any long-term effects?

Sherlock: None at all. You’ll be fine after you excrete it.

John: Might’ve already taken care of that.

[THEY SNORT, SHERLOCK STARTS SWEEPING OFF]

John: Where’re you going?

[SHERLOCK TURNS BACK]

Sherlock: Got to see a man about a microwave. Won’t be a minute.

[SMILES AT JOHN BEFORE HE TURNS AND WALKS TOWARDS THE ‘WAITER’ WHO HAD COME BY IN THE BEGINNING. A FEW MOMENTS LATER, THEY ARE TALKING, AND JOHN STOPS WATCHING HIM AND TURNS BACK TO HIS FOOD. A MAN ENTERS STAGE RIGHT AND BEE-LINES OVER TO JOHN, SITTING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE. TAKE THAT SPOTLIGHT OFF THEM SOMEWHERE IN HERE. MAYBE AFTER THE EPIPHANY?]

John: Billy.

Billy: Morning. Did your snorer keep you up?

[JOHN FOLLOWS BILLY’S GAZE TO WHERE SHERLOCK AND THE OTHER MAN ARE TALKING]

Billy: We didn’t hear you two last night.

John: Um-

Billy: But is he a snorer? You never did answer that question.

John: He.. er.. doesn’t really sleep.

Billy: But when he does, does he snore?

John: Um er

Billy: It’s just, mine and I think we think you and your snorer suit each other. He seems very maniac.. ish.

John: Yea, he, er, is-

[BILLY IGNORES JOHN, WAVING TO THE OTHER MAN WHO IS TALKING TO SHERLOCK AND THE CONVERSATION BREAKS OFF FOR THE OTHER MAN TO WAVE BACK. SHERLOCK DOESN’T LOOK TOO MAD, LETTING A SMALL SMILE GRACE HIS LIPS INSTEAD. THE ENSEMBLE CHARACTERS START TO WALK OFF, EVENTUALLY LEAVING BOTH COUPLES ON THE STAGE, AT WHICH POINT THE LIGHTS START GOING DOWN]

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sorry for the short scene.
> 
> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	8. Act Two, Scene Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.
> 
> No I do realize it is Sunday. But my two dear friends have had birthdays (I just got home from a surprise party for one) and I decided that I would post another scene as a gift to them because I'm lame and have nothing else to offer. 
> 
> So it works for all of you as well.
> 
> Happy birthday lovelies!
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO SCENE EIGHT

[ON A BLACK STAGE, A VOICE IS SPEAKING, SEEMING TO BE A NEWS REPORT. IT’S A GREAT WAY TO SEGUE, I THINK]

Voice[fading in]: … _And that is today’s weather. In other developing news, the trial for James Moriarty is about to start. For those listeners who are unaware, James Moriarty is standing trial for breaking into three places simultaneously – the case where the Crown Jewels are held, the vaults of the Bank of England, and unlocking the cells of the Pentonville Prison – and then writing the words “GET SHERLOCK” on the case, before breaking it. “Sherlock”, of course, refers to the net detective, boffin Sherlock Holmes, who has been gaining popularity about his consulting detective business through his companion bachelor John Watson’s blog. At the current moment, the court is awaiting Mr. Holmes’ testimony about Mr. Moriarty, which should be beginning momentarily. BBC Four will be doing a broadcast of the courthouse outside, and right here on BBC Radio Two, you can hear all the important updates as we get them._

_And here comes Mr. Holmes, commencing his oath._

_For those of you who are unaware of court rules, part of the etiquette of being in a House of Law is the forbidding of any song outbreaks. As you know, it is quite difficult to suppress the urge to sing which the music creates, but any person found singing in the Court will be removed from the immediate area via arrest, and banned from re-entry for the duration of the trial._

_Mr. Holmes has finished his oath and has now commenced answering questions for his testimony… With the first question he has already told the prosecuting barrister how to ask questions to get the answer she is looking for… the judge is not standing for it… and let’s see if we can get some live feed from the courtroom itself…._

[LIGHTS START COMING UP FOR THE NEXT BIT. LIGHTS UP ON THE COURTROOM. MORIARTY IS SITTING PRIMLY, AND SHERLOCK IS ON THE WITNESS STAND, WITH A HARASSED LOOKING JUDGE NEXT TO HIM. A SMATTERING OF PEOPLE ARE SITTING IN THE SEATS, AND THERE IS A FULL JURY. A LAWYER STANDS NEXT TO JIM AND SHERLOCK.

Sherlock: Can’t do that. You’re leading the witness.

Judge: Mr. Holmes.

Sherlock: How? Ask me _how_ I would describe him. Do they not teach you this?

Judge: Mr. Holmes, we’re fine without your help.

Prosecuting barrister: _How_ would you describe this man, this - _character?_

Sherlock:  First mistake.

[CUE _He’s the Spider in the Web_ ]

_Sherlock: James Moriarty isn’t a man at all – He’s a spider, one at the centre of a web, a web of criminals with thousands of threads and he knows precisely how each and every single one of them dances._

[JIM IS GRINNING LIKE A BESOTTED SCHOOL BOY; JOHN CAN HEAR THE MUSIC AND HIS LOOK HARDENS, AND SHERLOCK PREPARES TO SING.]

[ _He’s the Spider in the Web_ ](http://musescore.com/user/262326/scores/302706)

Sherlock:

He’s the Spider in the Web

Come to burn out your soul,

He has no feeling

Of what’s right or wrong

 

He’s the spider in the web,

Moving in for the kill

He has you in his claws now,

Here, have a pill

 

He’s the spider in the web,

He’s the shadow in the dark,

He’s the brain behind the crime,

Nothing but evil in his heart

 

He’s the master of the puppet,

Come to watch you die,

Then, he cuts your strings,

Show him how you fly.

 

He’s the master of the show,

Follow his lead,

There’s a strict tempo to follow,

Or you’ll end up dead.

 

He’s the consulting criminal,

Come out to play,

He’ll show you what he’s working on,

He’s sure that you’ll stay.

 

He’s the spider in the web,

He’s the shadow in the dark,

He’s the brain behind the crime,

Nothing but evil in his heart

 

[CUE OUT THE MUSIC]

Judge:  Security! Arrest this man as being in contempt of court.

[SECURITY MOVES FORWARD AND ARRESTS SHERLOCK; HE IS DRAGGED/ TAKEN OFF STAGE LEFT. JOHN SITS AND STARES AT WHERE SHERLOCK WAS. JIM SMILES MURDEROUSLY AS HE WATCHES THE PROCEEDINGS]

Judge: Right. [to the prosecuting barrister] Are those all your witnesses?

PB: Yes, Your Honour.

Judge [to the Defending Barrister]: Mr. Crayhill, can we have your first witness?

[CRAYHILL RISES TO HIS FEET]

Crayhill: Your Honour, we’re not calling any witnesses.

[JIM’S SMILE GROWS AND THERE ARE CONFUSED MURMURS SCATTERED AROUND THE COURT]

Judge: I don’t follow. You’ve entered a plea of Not Guilty.

Crayhill: Nevertheless, my client is offering no evidence. The defence rests.

[JIM LOOKS TOWARDS JOHN AND  SHRUGS, THE JUDGE LOOKS CONFUSED, THEN GATHERS HIMSELF AND BEGINS A SPEECH]

Judge: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. James Moriarty stands accused of several counts of attempted burglary, crimes which – if he’s found guilty – will elicit a very long custodial sentence; and yet his legal team has chosen to offer no evidence whatsoever to support their plea. I find myself in the _unusual_ position of recommending a verdict wholeheartedly. You must find him guilty. Guilty. You _must_ find him guilty.

[WITH A BANG OF THE GRAVEL, THE JURY EXITS, AND THE SCENE FREEZES IN A PLATEAU AS THE LIGHTS GO DOWN, ENDING THE SCENE. AS THE SET CHANGES, WE HAVE THE BBC REPORTER COME BACK]

_Reporter:  The jury are currently making their decision. As we wait for the jury to re-enter, it is time to take a look at Entertainment. The new airdate for the next season of Doctor Who has been announced. The Seventh Series will be aired starting on September 1 st on BBCOne , following the adventures of Matt Smith’s Doctor. Smith, who plays the Eleventh re-incarnation of the Doctor, comments that he’s very excited for the new series. In other news, Michael Haneke picked up his second Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival for Love (Amour) and Britain’s  Engelbert Humperdinck competed in the Eurovision Song Contest, which Sweden won, finishing with a total of 12 points, despite high hopes. There are plans that Humperdinck will be going on tour in 2014. Finally, Robin Gibb, of the BeeGees, has died. The coroner’s report will be coming in soon. That’s it for entertainment. It’s 10:50 here on BBC Radio Two and .. oh… we’re getting word that the jury in the trial of James Moriarty are coming back in. Ladies and gentlemen that is quite possibly the shortest time a jury has taken to decide on a verdict, clocking in at about 8 minutes. The judge has just resumed the court session and has asked for the verdict to be delivered. The jury look downcast, and the foreman comes forward to deliver the verdict, which is….._

_[_ AS THE LAST BIT IS READ, THE LIGHTS GO UP TO REVEAL THE NEXT SCENE…]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	9. Act Two, Scene Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Not-Really-Wednesday!
> 
> I completely didn't realize it was Wednesday and I currently exist under belief that after Tuesday is Thursday. My sincere apologies for the late post.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> EDIT: I posted Sometimes Justice last night on MuseScore, but I forgot to link it here. Whoops. Anyways, now it's in the scene. Yup.

ACT ONE, SCENE NINE

[LIGHTS UP ON A BAR. JOHN, GREG AND A FEW OTHER OFFICERS ARE SITTING AROUND THE BAR, LOOKING SADLY INTO THEIR PINTS. JOHN IS ON THE PHONE, AND SHERLOCK STANDS DOWNSTAGE LEFT, DRESSED IN A SUIT AND NOT REALLY PAYING ATTENTION.]

John: Not Guilty. They found him Not Guilty! No defence and Moriarty’s walked free.

[SHERLOCK, IN THE SPOTLIGHT, IS STUNNED, LOWERING THE PHONE AS JOHN GETS UP FROM HIS STOOL AND PACES TO DOWNSTAGE RIGHT, IGNORING THE REST OF THE CUSTOMERS IN THE BAR]

John: Sherlock. Are you listening? He’s out. You – you _know_ he’ll come after you. Sher..

[SHERLOCK HANGS UP SOMEWHERE IN THERE, AND THE AUDIENCE NOTICES IT WHEN HE STALKS OFF STAGE AND JOHN GLARES AT HIS PHONE IN FRUSTRATION BEFORE WALKING BACK TO HIS STOOL, WHICH NOW HAS A PINT IN FRONT OF IT.]

John: This is bullshit.

Lestrade: You can say that again.

John: I can’t believe he’s just walking free. After everything!

Officer Two: We’ll get him next time.

John [snaps]: What, after he’s blown up the centre of London?

Lestrade [hand on John’s shoulder]: Drink your pint.

[JOHN DOES, AND THE MOOD IS SAD THAT THE DRUNKEN SONGS IN THE CORNER ARE SOMEWHAT SUBDUED. CUE _Sometimes Justice Just Goes Wrong_ ]

[ _Sometimes Justice Just Goes Wrong_ ](http://musescore.com/user/262326/scores/358031)

Officers:

Sometimes justice just goes wrong,

Sometimes you can’t get the guy you’re after.

Sometimes justice just hits you in the face,

Because justice just goes wrong.

 

We fight for justice,

That’s something we really do.

Though we try, we fail,

 

Officer Two:

Though I suppose that’s okay

 

Officers:

We don’t always know how they go free,

But criminals, you see, are very flaky people.

Sometimes these people have been through a lot.

 

We just need to keep the streets of London safe, from harm.

Though we try to do that through justice,

But sometimes, even that goes wrong.

 

Justice,

We’re dreaming of justice.

And although we can try and dream,

It doesn’t always go to plan.

 

And sometimes we just can’t win.

You win some, you lose some as well.

But we try to catch ‘em,  we try

For the sake of justice.

 

[AT THE END OF THE SONG, JOHN IS ALSO NURSING HIS PINT SADLY]

John: I just don’t understand how he pulled it off.

Lestrade: He’s Moriarty. As Sherlock said it, he’s the spider with a thousand threads. Wait were you just on the phone with him? Wasn’t he arrested?

John: I— yah, I was .. I suppose Mycroft bailed him out.

Officer Two: Do you suppose one of the threads that Moriarty has owed him a favour?

Lestrade: And what does that have to do with him winning without even lifting a finger?

Officer Two: I dunno, maybe he could have hacked into the rooms they were staying and threatened them?

[LESTRADE AND JOHN EXCHANGE LOOKS]

Officer Two: Right I’ll shut up now.

Lestrade: That would be smart.

[THEY SIT IN SILENCE AND THEN LESTRADE ORDERS ANOTHER PINT]

John: So I think I best be going. Who knows what Sherlock got up to.

Lestrade: I’ll text you later.

John: Right. Bye.

[EXITS STAGE LEFT]

Officer Two: Well thank god that’s over with.

Lestrade: You’re drunk mate. This is just starting. Go home and get some rest. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long stretch of solid work.

[OFFICER TWO LEAVES AS LESTRADE SITS THERE, NURSING HIS PINT TO THE TUNE OF _Justice, Reprise/ Spider in the Web_ , LIGHTS FADE OUT ON HIM]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am currently working on Sometimes Justice Just Goes Wrong, and will post it ASAP.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me!
> 
> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.


	10. Act Two, Scene Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Hey-Look-It's-Wednesday Wednesday!
> 
> I've currently got the piano part of Justice! going in the background as I type this, because I don't feel like doing Calc. or Physics, so I'm doing a bit of fleshing out. Personally, my favourite bars are bars 60-77. But I'm biased.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE TEN

[LIGHTS UP ON BAKER STREET, OUTSIDE, WHICH IS CRAWLING WITH POLICE OFFICERS WHO ARE ALL WHISTLING _JUSTICE!_ SHERLOCK HAS BEEN SLAMMED UP AGAINST THE SIDE OF A CAR, AND HE SEEMS TO BE HANDCUFFED. JOHN JOINS A MOMENT LATER, AND HE IS SLAMMED UP AGAINST THE CAR DOOR. THE CHIEF SUPERINTENDENT FOLLOWS HIM, HOLDING HIS NOSE UP WITH A WHITE HANDKERCHIEF, SPOTTED WITH BLOOD. SHERLOCK SMIRKS AS THEY DO A ROUND OF _JUSTICE, REVIVED]_

_Justice, Revived_

Justice!

We’re dreaming of justice

There’s something about

The freedom to say what you’re thinking of

 

Through justice

We bring the murderers down

We fight through the evidence,

Go to the root of the cause

 

To make London a safer place

Through Justice

We dream of justice

And what we dream, we generally do

Because we’re for the

Justice!

 

[THE SONGS DIES OUT AND JOHN LAUGHS]

Sherlock: I see you’re joining me.

John: Apparently it’s against the law to chin the Chief Superintendent, even when he’s being a right arse and singing along, the bastard. I see it wasn’t any worse here.

[THEY EXCHANGE A GRIN AND CUE _WE WALK TOGETHER OPENING BARS (are you guys as sick of reading that as I am of writing it because like WOW GUYS JUST STARTING SINGING IT ALREADY!!)_ JOHN EMITS ANOTHER LAUGH]

John: Only we could have a theme that plays when we get arrested.

Sherlock: No. Only we could have a theme that plays when we escape police custody.

John: What?

[SHERLOCK GRABS A GUN WITH HIS FREE HAND, FIRES A SINGLE SHOT UPWARD, AND THEN BRINGS IT DOWN AND POINTS IT AT THE POLICE]

Sherlock: EVERYBODY DOWN. DOWN ON THE GROUND, HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD.

[DISCONTENTED GRUMBLING FROM THE POLICE. BECAUSE THEY ARE DISCONTENTED.]

Sherlock: ON YOUR KNEES.

[A COUPLE OF OFFICERS SNIGGER AND SHERLOCK SWINGS THE GUN TOWARDS THEM. THEY SILENCE. LESTRADE, WHO HAS BEEN ON STAGE THIS WHOLE TIME AND IS ALREADY ON HIS KNEES WITH HIS HANDS ABOVE HIS HEAD PUSHES DOWN AN OFFICER NEAR HIM]

Lestrade: DO AS HE SAYS!

[THE REST OF THE OFFICERS EXCHANGE WEARY LOOKS BEFORE GETTING DOWN SLOWLY ONTO THE GROUND]

John: Just so you’re aware, the gun was his idea. I’m just

Sherlock[pointing the gun at John]: My hostage!

John[gasps, then quietly]: Yup that works.

[THE WHOLE STAGE IS FROZEN AS SHERLOCK AND JOHN START MOVING SIDEWAYS DOWNSTAGE RIGHT.]

John [as they move]: So now what?

Sherlock: We’re becoming fugitives, as Moriarty wished.

[AS SOON AS THEY GET CLOSE ENOUGH, SHERLOCK GETS THEM OFF THE STAGE AND THEY START BOLTING UP THE AISLE. LESTRADE BURIES HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS.]

Chief: Get after him Lestrade! [to officers] DON’T JUST STAND THERE, AFTER THEM!

[THE DOOR BANGS AS THE BOYS GET OUT, CUE SALLY’S SIGH AND SHE STARTS TO RUN OFF AFTER THEM. SHE’S ABOUT HALFWAY UP THE AISLE WHEN GREG STARTS MOVING AS WELL. THE OFFICERS HAVE STARTED SCATTERING TOWARDS CARS AND ARE MOVING OFF STAGE. LIGHTS DOWN AS SOON AS LESTRADE’S HALFWAY THERE (whoa! Living on a prayer!)]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> As a sidenote, the scenes are starting to get shorter mostly because I sat down and read out and (slightly) acted out Act One (!) and it's so bloody long (90-100min) and I figured that people would not appreciate another doozy like that for Act Two....


	11. Act Two, Scene Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to the finale of Act Two!
> 
> A few things:  
> Firstly, in case you were totally not following the musical on tumblr, I've updated Justice - you can read the whole chapter with the music and everything (yay!)  
> Secondly. I've made the decision that the musical is far too long. With Act One clocking in at 1hr 40 minutes, Act Two at 1hr and Act Three at 20 minutes, we're looking at 3 hours, WITHOUT INTERMISSION. So this version here will NOT be the one that will eventually be preformed, as I will be cutting out a few minor, time consuming scenes. Sorry if I cut one of your favourites.  
> Thirdly- there are FOUR MORE SCENES LEFT (!) Time to get back to my pathetic promotions.
> 
> If you are a musician and enjoy the music you're hearing (or you know of someone who might enjoy it), [have them] check out our tumblr (link at the bottom). Cast Auditions are starting! Head over to our tumblr (link at the bottom) and follow the link for the character you'd like to try out for. Even if you don't get the part you're after, you still might get cast and have a chance to join us on this crazy adventure.
> 
> And now, without further ado, the disclaimer:  
> Most of the dialogue belongs to BBC, as well as FlawedAmythyst  
> Music is written by me and[ Catherine](http://vortexofdeduction.blogspot.ca/), or in the case of the Finale, used with permission and arranged.  
> Lyrics are by FlawedAmythyst (and respective betas), myself, Catherine and A. Vlasov, who you can find on [ YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMQ3zjRjkN5vJGCM-bFCaaQ) .  
> Inspired by [ A Very Sherlock Musical, by FlawedAmythyst](http://archiveofourown.org/chapters/2279463?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_5840033).  
> Special thanks to [ Ariane DeVere ](http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/) for her helpful episode transcripts!
> 
> Any songs can be clicked on in the story, providing they are done.  
> 

ACT TWO, SCENE ELEVEN

[LIGHTS UP ON A ROOF. SHERLOCK IS STANDING WITH MORIARTY AND THE TWO ARE SLOWLY PACING AROUND EACH OTHER.]

Moriarty: As long as I’m alive, you can save your friends; you’ve got a way out. [pause] Well good luck with that.

[MORIARTY EXTENDS HIS HAND TO SHERLOCK, PULLING HIM CLOSER BEFORE WHIPPING OUT A GUN AND FIRING IT AT HIMSELF. SHERLOCK FLINGS HIMSELF BACKWARD IN SHOCK AS MORIARTY’S BODY COLLAPSES TO THE GROUND. IN SHOCK, HE STARTS PACING THE ROOF, HIS HANDS TEARING THROUGH HIS HAIR. FINALLY, HE PAUSES NEAR THE EDGE, PULLS OUT HIS PHONE AND THEN WE HEAR JOHN’S VOICE. JOHN APPEARS IN THE AUDIENCE, WALKING TOWARDS SHERLOCK]

John: Hello?

Sherlock: John.

John: You okay?

Sherlock: Turn around and walk back the way you came.

John: No, I’m coming in.

Sherlock: Just do as I ask.

[JOHN PAUSES HIS WALKING AND MOVES BACK TO SOME SPOT THAT HAS YET TO BE DETERMINED]

Sherlock: Stop there.

John: Sherlock?

Sherlock: Look up. I’m on the roof.

[JOHN TURNS AROUND]

John: Oh God.

Sherlock: I can’t come down.

John: What’s going on?

[SHERLOCK TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND CUE _WE WALK TOGETHER – SHORTENED_ ]

John: Oh no. No, you bloody don’t. [CUE OUT MUSIC] You don’t get to sing that now, not after – God, Sherlock. Just come down. [Pause, broken] Please.

Sherlock: I can’t. [Shaky breath] This phone call, it’s my note. It’s what people do, don’t they – leave a note?

John: Leave a note when?

Sherlock: Goodbye John. I wish I had sung with you, just once.

John: Sherlo- No. Oh god NO-

[SHERLOCK FLINGS HIS PHONE ASIDE AND LEANS FORWARD, AND FALLS OFF THE BUILDING (maybe falls into orchestra pit? Maybe put a little elevation so that he falls??) ]

John: SHERLOCK!!

[JOHN RUNS FORWARD AND STUMBLES ON HIS WAY; THAT TRIGGERS THE SET TO CHANGE FROM THE ROOF TO A SIDE BUILDING AND PEOPLE TO COME ON.  JOHN EVENTUALLY GETS THROUGH TO THE STAGE AND FIGHTS HIS WAY THROUGH]

John: He’s my friend. No, he’s my friend. Please.

[THE HANDS KEEP TRYING TO PUSH HIM BACK AND THEN FINALLY JOHN GETS TO SHERLOCK]

John: Please, he’s my madman.

[SOBS]

John [broken]: He’s my crazy madman.

[THEY EVENTUALLY GET SHERLOCK OFF THE STAGE AND JOHN SITS THERE AS THE LIGHTS GO DOWN AROUND HIM. AS THE RED CURTAIN COMES DOWN AND THE AUDIENCE IS LEFT IN TEARS BECAUSE I CAN _._ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more updates and lyrics, check out [ our Tumblr ](https://sherlockthemusical.tumblr.com).  
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, and criticism is always helpful!  
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> See you next week for Act Three!!


End file.
